Audition Dates:
Oct 6 @ 7 – 9 pm
Oct 8 @ 7 – 9 pmShow Dates:
Jan 10 @ 8pm / Jan 11 @ 2pm 2026
Synonyms
When four friends attend the funeral of Mrs. Graziano they find out she died because she could not afford her prescriptions. The youngest of the group – a klutzy 30-something – decides ‘something’ has to be done. She convinces the other three – all seniors – that ‘something’ is to burglarize pharmacies. All goes well until police put together a task force. And then it doesn’t go so well. This is screwball comedy a fast-paced, physical show with sight gags, pratfalls, and non-stop action.
Audition information:
This show may require some rolling round on the floor, catching tubes of blueprints, and a game of twister.
Character information:
Det Keith Morgan – About 40. He rose through the ranks quickly. A harder worker. Wants to be a good detective more than anything. Loves his wife, but thinks his mother-in-law is beautiful. He is worried about having enough money for the future. Willing to put work before home. Fell in love with Beth the moment he saw her. While not a genius, his doggedness makes him a match for any criminal or gang. Keith is completely unaware that Beth has started a gang to steal prescription drugs.
Beth Morgan – The brains of the Morgan family and the gang, is a physical klutz. A good-looking woman, she is not nearly as beautiful as her mother; this has been a point of jealousy over the years. Beth helps Keith with his cases by putting in a key suggestion every now and then. Thinks she is pregnant but may not really be. Would like to see Keith get promoted; doesn’t worry if he doesn’t. She has a home consulting business that is doing better than Keith realizes. Beth was not initially attracted to Keith, but over time she began to grow fond of him as he pursued her. Now she truly loves him. She is average height and weight, maybe a smidgen chubby. While she never embraced gymnastics or sports, she did embrace chess and is quite good at it. She usually dresses in sun dresses popular in the 70’s; light blue is her favorite.
Captain Everett Young – A hard-nosed cop in his mid-60s, who made his way to Captain by solving several big cases. Very intelligent and detail oriented. He intuits things. Is Beth’s biological father though neither he nor she know it when the play begins. He met Beth’s mother (Viv) when they were in their 20’s at the gym where they both exercised. Their first date was at a disco. Captain Young was and still is a great dancer. He always loved Viv. When Viv left, he tried to look for her at first, but couldn’t find her. He figured the right thing to do was let her lead her life, and if she wanted him, she’d come back on her own. Captain young is an old school cop and believes some offenses are better handled by parents and families, then through the courts.
Viv Marcom – In her mid-60’s and was once a nationally ranked gymnast, she has maintained her athletic appearance and ability. She spends a lot of time at the senior center with her friends and is worried they don’t have enough money to pay for their prescriptions. She has donated money but can’t afford to do it anymore. She is in great shape and her specialty is climbing up and down ropes. She goes into the pharmacies usually through the roof. Viv has always loved Captain Young, but when she got pregnant with Beth, she was afraid and didn’t know what to do and ran away to avoid a shotgun wedding. She always hoped Captain Young would find her. Viv is slightly jealous of Beth for the life she has carved out; she is especially jealous of how Keith pursued her when they were courting and wonders what would have been different if Captain Young had pursued her. She is cool to Keith even though she likes him and his dedication to Beth. She has no idea Keith thinks she hates him. She lives alone in a small apartment. Keith and Beth have invited her to move in, but she has declined their invitation because she doesn’t want to be a bother and for fear her Keith will discover her crimes.
Johnny – A man in his mid to early 60’s. A former security professional that has kept up with the advances in his field. He is a computer genius. There is no retail store security system that can keep him out. He is slightly overweight and wants to date Parabola Allegretto but is sure she is out of his league. The cost of prescription drugs is killing him. He is living in subsidized housing because he spent his entire savings paying medical bills to keep his wife alive when she was suffering from cancer. He has two goals: to make the medical establishment pay and to bed Parabola. He has a potbelly and is convinced his appearance keeps Parabola at distance. He actually looks fine.
Parabola Allegretto – A woman in her early 60’s. She too lives in subsidized housing because she was devastated by drug prices. She is lonely and has a secret crush on Johnny although she is flirtatious with every other man she meets, she does this to keep Johnny at a distance, so they won’t get too close. She has a near encyclopedic memory. Parabola’s parents named her thinking the name would give her a certain flourish. Unfortunately, she was teased through High School and College for being named after a mathematical term. Her parents thought it was Italian. Her superpower is her ability to talk to men.
Garth Brader – Is the lawyer for the pharmacy chain. He and his firm are well connected politically and throughout the business community. He is only concerned about the pharmacy break-ins and the losses they are causing to the chain. The high cost of prescription drugs doesn’t interest him a bit. He is determined to prosecute the offenders to the maximum amount and then file civil suits to ruin them. He thinks Everett is a short-sighted fool who is willing to find alternate solutions to sending people to jail – especially for non-violent crimes. He has been there for weeks and is getting everyone nervous. They’ve even given him a desk to sit at while he waits because Young’s boss insisted. He will barge into any meeting, interview, or interrogation. Even so, he has a drinking problem. Whenever he has more than two drinks his behavior becomes erratic. Nothing mean, but just kind of crazy.
If you have any questions, please contact director Bill Potter: Lettice at 123@yahoo.com
Scripts are available at https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j2CDCazh57FM47O8YdfYBNepgAPgi19N/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=104351321045975928224&rtpof=true&sd=true
Before the Audition
- Download CSP Audition Form before you show up!
In order to save your time, please download the audition form, complete and bring it to the audition. ( Download Free PDF Reader )
* Copies will be available at the audition if you can not print at home. - Please review the CSP Code of Conduct
CSP Code of Conduct ensures that we not only have fun but that all feel welcome and that it is a safe environment for all. The purpose is to define accepted/acceptable behaviors, to promote high standards of practice and to establish a framework for professional behaviors and responsibilities.
Leave a Reply